To properly appreciate today you can picture me. I’m sitting in a corner of my loft, still in jammies at 3PM. It’s 9 degrees F (or -13 C for the sensible people in the world) and I’m going nowhere. But it is cold next to the outside wall so I have on a truly puggly zip up bright blue cardigan layered over with a black and gray fleece. But my hands are still cold.
This year brought more transitions for me. It ended my working career sadly, and the daily contact with my coworkers. Not that this can be avoided. Fatigue from Parkinson’s and some other issues with concentration that PD influences each have their share of the blame.
Not everything will be missed. Not everyone was happy to see me as Rachel and passing them in the hallway turning their heads away or in some few cases a hostile stare (either for being trans or female) doesn’t do much for your day. The reduction in stress is clear: my pulse has lowered and the number of migraines per month has lessened since I stopped working, which hardly can be a coincidence.
Over this year my weight has been stable but more muscle turned to fat. On the plus side I’m more girl shaped, on the minus side I’m far too heavy for health. This is tough to turn around at 60+.
In terms of gender identity I’m doing well and I was finally able to get the revision done this fall to remove the stenosis at the entrance to my vagina. Dr Slama at BMC did a great job, now I just have to rebuild depth. The girth should be adequate.
This year started days where I stopped thinking about being trans and stopped identifying as trans as a primary thing. It wasn’t that I forgot it, but it wasn’t the elephant in the room for me anymore. This is also the year that the guy in the mirror finally packed his valise and said au revoir.
My Gifted Life 