Wow, that really didn’t make sense to me for the longest time. Either it was a technical subject I know, in which case I claim my ground to the extent I have expertise, or it’s some other sphere and it was a foreign concept in many ways. A foreign language.
When it comes to being trans we want to be seen as the women or men we are, but this is somehow inadequate. It feels like a lie because to be seen as a cis woman or cis man means deceit, a pretense at a background and experience that is, to some extent different. Awkward questions, distancing answers and vague replies.
Instead we seek as people intimacy and warmth, which is to say true connections with our friends and neighbors. We want them to know and value us for who we are. For me that’s a trans woman. Sure, I still value having passing privilege as I’d have to be a little crazy to want to be hassled, but for those close to me I want them to know and value all of me. I come as I am.
Part of the way I need to be to handle this is to not be so sensitive to mistakes made, the odd sir, or my old name an old friend may drop by mistake. To do that I need to be confident that I am the woman I say I am.
By the same token I no longer care if I wear some old item that the “old” me wore. My old watches are beautiful, why shouldn’t I wear them sometimes?
Have the confidence to be you.
My Gifted Life 