Let’s distinguish two things. It is not, in my opinion, transphobic to not wish to date someone for any personal reason. It might be something as simple, for a male, as wanting natural children and seeing no point in dating someone who cant bear a child. I wouldn’t hold it against them.
Refusing to acknowledge a trans women as a woman is, given how we use the term, transphobic. It is a denial of her identity and her struggle. It is deeply disrespectful.
It isn’t that the recognition has to go beyond using the right pronouns and not being rude, it doesn’t. It’s a low bar to hurdle. Nobody is being asked to change their belief system, no matter how ill informed it might be. All that’s required is a respectful attitude and acknowledgement of another’s dignity.
If you do date someone and you’re trans I advise letting them know before things become physical both for your safety and out of respect.
I do think dating is a difficult area, I’ve been rather a coward and only gone on relatively few dates over the last several years.
My Gifted Life 