It really is true, that day by day you live your truth and you and it slowly intertwine. The space grows ever closer until one morning you wake up and find that there’s only you. No other, no seeming division.
When I started my journey it would sometimes feel like I had this person Rachel inside me waiting for her turn to shine. Now I can only with difficulty remember not being Rachel. That is truly me. That was the only real me between my ears in some way.
Not to say I wasn’t really there for my wife and child, I surely was, and my friends, coworkers and fellow congregants, but they couldn’t really see me beneath a carefully built patina of grey science fact, rust colored math and the oddly shaped alloys that were the engineer in me. I’m still that person too of course. I’m all of them.
But in my identity, when I think back to my teen years it is my newer self that views them with a feminine understanding. Sometimes too with a sigh and a tear with what I hadn’t understood about women and what they wanted in a relationship.
My Gifted Life 