It’s now a couple of weeks past. It left a better feeling for me, as I had arranged to sit with someone. Planning a little can go a long way. Still, there are these disquieting moments in my life, and not particularly at temple, where I don’t necessarily feel entirely welcome. Not often but not so few that I can entirely forget.
Then there’s the problem of old and truly wonderful friends who simply don’t “get” how important it is to gender us correctly. I usually don’t even say anything anymore, what would be the point. People I see so unoften shouldn’t remember our encounters as me scolding them. Truthfully it only bothers me a little. Perhaps a sign I am more secure as a woman.
Perhaps more on my mind is the condition of my brain. I found myself having trouble doing long division of all things. Admittedly I’m used to taking shortcuts but I was good at making them work. What’s more problematic is having problems with arithmetic when I finished my education taking a complex variables course and taught myself various clustering techniques only about six years ago. The contrast is disturbing.
I worry about whether it’s a complication of the Parkinson’s, a result of a drug I’m taking or something else I don’t yet know about. I think that will always be a sword of Damocles over my head.
My Gifted Life 