My Gifted Life

I was diagnosed with Parkinson’s in April 2016. Since then, we’ve been on a long, winding journey. Parkinson’s brings a lot of different effects, and in my experience there are some that are especially challenging to live with day to day. Constipation, pain in various places, and fatigue are common. But lately, the issues that has become most distressing for me are the hallucinations, the sense of time slipping away, and the frightening episodes where I find myself somewhere I don’t recognize.

This post isn’t a medical guide. It’s a window into how these experiences feel for me, what I’ve learned along the way, and what helps me cope. If you’re going through something similar, you’re not alone—and there are people and resources that can help.

Hallucinations are one of the major problems. At first hallucinations were kind of a joke. The hallucinated animals I’ve noticed tend to be small and quiet. The animals appearing are not dynamic at first: they don’t move much, gesture, speak, or become animated. They’re mostly stationary and perceptible, not frightening in themselves. It’s odd because they don’t act like threats, yet their presence feels meaningful—like they’re there for a reason, even though I can’t tell what that reason is. They don’t escalate or interact, which makes it hard to know how to react or what emotions to have. What’s most confusing is how they mingle within in my normal environments, and it makes it hard to distinguish between reality and delusion. I wasn’t scared at first but as time progressed my fears increased as well. Again they never spoke, which is weird, but they certainly were present. It feels as if they are battling my loneliness.

Today’s delusion however was really brand new. I was sitting in my room in bed watching a movie and all of a sudden a old man creature, kind of distorted face and distorted body, walked into the room and sat down and looked pretty horrendous and I don’t remember if I tried to say anything to him, but he transformed into another figure, which also wasn’t terribly pleasant and I think that got cut off by the arrival of my caregiver. I was thankful she arrive, because it wasn’t pleasant having him in the room, so yeah.

What a day of hallucinations.