I guarantee you that if you start a conversation like any of these you’ve already lost before you’ve started: What were you thinking wearing something like that You look like a (fill in your pejorative) in that (article of clothing) That makeup makes you look like a (clown, floozy, hooker) I mean, how do you…… Continue reading Be Supportive – Ways not to be listened to
Category: Current
Be Supportive – Adult transitioners are in their second puberty
At least at first. I’m most aware of this with trans women, I’ll leave trans men for someone else to talk about. Trans women never got to go through that awkward pubescent stage of dressing inappropriately and using makeup badly, being taught by mothers and older sisters about appropriate clothing, appropriate makeup, and just plain…… Continue reading Be Supportive – Adult transitioners are in their second puberty
Be Supportive – Avoid questioning their plans to transition
If you think they are making a bad or rushed decision about transitioning itself you are in a tight bind. Their therapist is looking out for them. That’s the person who safeguards both their welfare and their information. Even for a minor child (to the best of my knowledge) you can’t just ask for private…… Continue reading Be Supportive – Avoid questioning their plans to transition
Be Supportive – Don’t Be Judgmental
Especially for adults, if they’ve made a decision, they have probably struggled long and hard making that decision. As a friend you might question why and how they’ve reached this point or express concern. It is certainly normal to do so. I would just ask that you realize that they’re probably looking for support more than…… Continue reading Be Supportive – Don’t Be Judgmental
Be Supportive – Use our Names and Pronouns as soon as possible
I know that can’t be right away for partners and parents and wives and husbands and siblings and children in most cases. You were so close to him or her for so very long. Her memory lingers on that piano bench. You can still smell his cologne on the guitar he used to sing to…… Continue reading Be Supportive – Use our Names and Pronouns as soon as possible
Being Supportive – First in a short series
I think we all appreciate support in whatever we are trying to do. A lot of what I’m going to say is really general, but some of the circumstances are particular to trans people. I’m sure you can tell the difference. This is a short series about things you can do, and shouldn’t do to…… Continue reading Being Supportive – First in a short series
Are we selfish
I’ve heard this about others, and I even heard this had circulated at work just before I had officially come out. After the email went out, but before the training meeting. That I was selfish. That so and so is selfish; why did they get married if they knew. That he’s selfish, how could he…… Continue reading Are we selfish
Unicorns
We are not unusual to ourselves. We know at least one transgender person really well and usually a good number of other ones. It isn’t uncommon for us to know other transgender people’s stories either. This should not come as a surprise. Is doesn’t, right? For people meeting us this is often not true. We…… Continue reading Unicorns
Yom Hashoah
Or Yom HaZikaron. Holocaust day or the day of remembrance, but in both cases remembering the 6 million jews that died in Nazi germany. While not the only genocidal act ever committed it has the dubious honor of being one specifically targeting a group of people for their faith and systematically and efficiently destroying them.…… Continue reading Yom Hashoah
Why you should always hope
My friends, especially those in pain of mind or body or soul. Gut wrenching or that small ins insidious pain that keeps you up at night. The mental anguish that robs you of sleep. I wrote this a few months ago: Pain, it focuses my mind, my eyes, It instructs and separates that which can…… Continue reading Why you should always hope
My Gifted Life 