Funny title? No, not really. Like many of these posts, this is as applicable to your friends as to trans people. There’s nothing special in what I’m saying other than I grew most aware of this as it affected me though a transgender lens. There’s this concept in Judaism of Lashon Harah, evil gossip. Amongst…… Continue reading Be Supportive – What you shouldn’t want us to know
Category: Information
Be Supportive – Ways not to be listened to
I guarantee you that if you start a conversation like any of these you’ve already lost before you’ve started: What were you thinking wearing something like that You look like a (fill in your pejorative) in that (article of clothing) That makeup makes you look like a (clown, floozy, hooker) I mean, how do you…… Continue reading Be Supportive – Ways not to be listened to
Be Supportive – Adult transitioners are in their second puberty
At least at first. I’m most aware of this with trans women, I’ll leave trans men for someone else to talk about. Trans women never got to go through that awkward pubescent stage of dressing inappropriately and using makeup badly, being taught by mothers and older sisters about appropriate clothing, appropriate makeup, and just plain…… Continue reading Be Supportive – Adult transitioners are in their second puberty
Be Supportive – Avoid questioning their plans to transition
If you think they are making a bad or rushed decision about transitioning itself you are in a tight bind. Their therapist is looking out for them. That’s the person who safeguards both their welfare and their information. Even for a minor child (to the best of my knowledge) you can’t just ask for private…… Continue reading Be Supportive – Avoid questioning their plans to transition
Be Supportive – Don’t Be Judgmental
Especially for adults, if they’ve made a decision, they have probably struggled long and hard making that decision. As a friend you might question why and how they’ve reached this point or express concern. It is certainly normal to do so. I would just ask that you realize that they’re probably looking for support more than…… Continue reading Be Supportive – Don’t Be Judgmental
Be Supportive – Use our Names and Pronouns as soon as possible
I know that can’t be right away for partners and parents and wives and husbands and siblings and children in most cases. You were so close to him or her for so very long. Her memory lingers on that piano bench. You can still smell his cologne on the guitar he used to sing to…… Continue reading Be Supportive – Use our Names and Pronouns as soon as possible
Being Supportive – First in a short series
I think we all appreciate support in whatever we are trying to do. A lot of what I’m going to say is really general, but some of the circumstances are particular to trans people. I’m sure you can tell the difference. This is a short series about things you can do, and shouldn’t do to…… Continue reading Being Supportive – First in a short series
Dead names and Pronouns
This has been a tough 24 hours, it has. I think it really can be hard for people who’ve known us for a long time to keep our new name straight, twenty or thirty years of history do not vanish overnight, nor does our prior identity as a man or a woman change in their…… Continue reading Dead names and Pronouns
Are We Happier For Having Transitioned?
I posted this earlier today in Quora to a question with an agenda, at least it felt like that. The original question: Are most people who undergo a gender transition happier after transition than before it? I’ve been doing some reading and it doesn’t seem like changing your sex makes a difference for the majority…… Continue reading Are We Happier For Having Transitioned?
So You’ve Just met one of us
Chances are we aren’t the first transgender person you’ve met. Very many of us pass largely undetected around you, yes, even in bathrooms and locker rooms and dressing rooms, both male and female. We simply don’t look remarkable. I look like a woman, I don’t look like a guy, act like a guy, dress like…… Continue reading So You’ve Just met one of us
My Gifted Life 