Two or three weeks ago and turned the corner into my apartment building’s parking lot. I found a space and saw a man striding along that looked familiar. I noticed along the path he trod that he was approaching a vehicle I associated with him. I wandered down and said hello and we had a…… Continue reading Passing
Category: Information
We Do not Understand the World
This is not about my pretending to be smart. There’s a great quote that I think is attributed to Mark Twain (perhaps a fitting way to start, I’m not even sure I have that right!) “A fool is a man who doesn’t know what you learned just five minutes ago”. I think we rarely…… Continue reading We Do not Understand the World
Surprises
In just a couple of weeks I will have been full time for two full years, and these are some reflections on some of the things that have been different from what I might have expected. We all enter into this with ideas, but how does reality wear them down? Men I speak not of…… Continue reading Surprises
Hormone Therapy
This is probably one of the least well understood topics by trans women I’ve seen, including me at the beginning. What we think is that taking female hormones is going to give us a feminine figure and boobs and that’s the reason to take them. The truth is that hormones, unless you’re an adolescent who’s…… Continue reading Hormone Therapy
Deciding to Transition
In addition to my last post, there are other reasons not to transition. Transition brings a host of psychological changes and skill challenges that really are difficult. I said the rules are different, and they are. That can chafe if you don’t have the right attitude. You talk using somewhat different vocabulary, and you’re surrounded…… Continue reading Deciding to Transition
Options
You’re searching to find where you’re comfortable. You figured out you’re trans and with or without help you’ve overcome those immediate hurdles like anger, depression, shame, substance abuse, or whatever else either made it possible to cope or was a result of years of not coping. Maybe you’ve been making little adjustments for years in…… Continue reading Options
Mornings
I thought it might be handy to compare what comprises an acceptable work outfit and what it takes to get ready for my office job as an engineer. Some people, of course, need to dress up more and some less. Note that accepta D’s typical outfit: Button down shirt, some shade of blue, probably striped…… Continue reading Mornings
Patience
You’ve come out, and you’ve passed the first hurdles of conquering fear, shame and guilt. Now what? It’s tempting to be target oriented, looking toward some end goal. For me, I had an unrealistic notion of how fast things could or would progress. We don’t know what we’re going to do at the beginning and…… Continue reading Patience
You’re Trans?
I’m talking to people in their 40s and 50s, who are like me, carrying around baggage and aren’t so free in their choices the way they would have been. I’d like to reflect back on some of what I’ve learned on my journey in dealing with shame, guilt and responsibility, and what haunts me still.…… Continue reading You’re Trans?
Skip The Recommendations
I love my friends, and I honor their kind efforts, but I have to say to my friends and the friends to other trans people that we don’t really need to be told about the latest book, TV show, movie, play, third cousin twice removed or other anecdote. We actually live this life. I can…… Continue reading Skip The Recommendations
My Gifted Life 