In addition to my last post, there are other reasons not to transition. Transition brings a host of psychological changes and skill challenges that really are difficult. I said the rules are different, and they are. That can chafe if you don’t have the right attitude. You talk using somewhat different vocabulary, and you’re surrounded…… Continue reading Deciding to Transition
Category: Journey
Everything has a downside
I haven’t spent much time talking about the drawbacks of transition in my life. The process, the options, the experience, but not so much how it all turns out and the risks. Everyone faces a set of pretty universal consequences, some more likely than others: Loss of marriage, if you’re married Alienation of children if…… Continue reading Everything has a downside
Misses R
Wow, there is one funky thing. I remember back when my spouse and I married and were husband and wife. It was sort of one of those having to engrain things. I was her husband, repeat, repeat until it became automatic. I imagine something similar for her too. Referring to her as my wife and…… Continue reading Misses R
Mornings
I thought it might be handy to compare what comprises an acceptable work outfit and what it takes to get ready for my office job as an engineer. Some people, of course, need to dress up more and some less. Note that accepta D’s typical outfit: Button down shirt, some shade of blue, probably striped…… Continue reading Mornings
To Live is to Learn is to Grow
I first came out in April 2012, which is now coming up on four years ago, it seems like a geological age has passed between.. The changes, which thankfully are over (at least in the large), have been many. I often said why me, but after reading the classic, “True Selves” realized that I was…… Continue reading To Live is to Learn is to Grow
January 26, 2016
This post isn’t themed, it isn’t educational, it’s just reflective. I’m coming up on three months post op and two years since I went full time. I was walking out of Lahey clinic today where I had what was definitely one too many doctor’s appointments over the last week (although I can’t say enough good…… Continue reading January 26, 2016
First Event
I attended First Event for the third time this weekend. For the first time I started to see where I might want to make a regular thing of it, or perhaps not. I had a good time, albeit I stayed for limited hours as I still am battling fatigue even now, eleven weeks post surgery. The very…… Continue reading First Event
Patience
You’ve come out, and you’ve passed the first hurdles of conquering fear, shame and guilt. Now what? It’s tempting to be target oriented, looking toward some end goal. For me, I had an unrealistic notion of how fast things could or would progress. We don’t know what we’re going to do at the beginning and…… Continue reading Patience
You’re Trans?
I’m talking to people in their 40s and 50s, who are like me, carrying around baggage and aren’t so free in their choices the way they would have been. I’d like to reflect back on some of what I’ve learned on my journey in dealing with shame, guilt and responsibility, and what haunts me still.…… Continue reading You’re Trans?
Looking Back
Toward the start of my journey I spent an awful lot of time asking why. Why did I feel this compulsion, why couldn’t I just deny it, and why the hell was I so unlucky to have this issue in my life. Part of it was looking forward and asking what was going to be…… Continue reading Looking Back
My Gifted Life 