Just when I was complaining about stasis the world explodes with all this michegas about beer, or maybe about something else I’d rather not think about. Each day our president gets on the news and spins some yarn about people holding hands in pews on Easter Sunday, and Dr. Fauci gets to correct all of…… Continue reading Not enough stasis
More change, more stasis
The one thing I can guarantee is that my parkinson’s will continue to get worse, but hopefully slowly, and my depression will always be a balancing act. This last month actually saw a big improvement in my depression and all I needed to do was to eat enough food at dinner before taking my pills.…… Continue reading More change, more stasis
The Holidays
Pictures of happy little girls and boys with father doting on them with an argyle sweater. Mom in cooking mittens holding a tin of cookies and let’s not forget spot the favorite dog and sparkie the cat. Out of doors stays the pure white powdery snow. Brought to you all by Hallmark(tm). But for most…… Continue reading The Holidays
Why is retirement so difficult?
I find myself watching too much TV, but lack the energy many days to do more. It seems pointless and can be boring itself. Finding meaning is difficult to do now, as I’m not working — something which really lent some urgency to life as well as meaning. I have hobbies, but find I rarely…… Continue reading Why is retirement so difficult?
Regrets
Sometimes we pretend to have no regrets in taking the extreme steps we’ve needed to take to live and hopefully prosper. These thoughts come to me in a bit of a funk — par for the course between depression and Parkinson’s. I think my transition has been very successful. I think little about my gender…… Continue reading Regrets
Here I go ride in my car car
My old car was 14 years old with 170,000 miles. I had certainly gotten my money’s worth out of the Toyota Camry, reliable beast, starting every day cold or hot. Never stranded, not even a sudden flat. I decided it was time to replace it and send it to that great part yard in the…… Continue reading Here I go ride in my car car
Life slowly gets better
The river flows to the seaSuch is the history of you and me Water passing to be goneAt the shore, waving so long One time dreams pass me byeNew ones slow to come nighBut slowly, slowly over timeTime heals the painful past Then to memory serves one wellMemories aren’t all of Heaven or HellFond memories…… Continue reading Life slowly gets better
Failure follow up
I’m fairly convinced that doing nothing is this best course. My surgeon pointed out there are plenty of sexual thinks to do without a vagina or without one that has the capacity to take a penis. He also warned that regardless of who does a repair that there’s a serious risk of a fistula, hardly…… Continue reading Failure follow up
Failure
I kept hoping—and hoping that my vagina would turn a corner and start expanding. I’ve been dilating even now, five years after my surgery on a daily basis. All in the hope to get it large enough to accommodate those things one should accommodate. I measured the depth this morning. Not even up to the…… Continue reading Failure
Weed all grown up
Some of you may wonder how the pot turned out. It turns out that I’m not a great judge so I used a friend and he declared it pretty good. So I must have done something right. The end game of growing pot is mostly waiting for all the buds to bud, which takes many…… Continue reading Weed all grown up
My Gifted Life 