There’s that old saying about the stick that broke the camel’s back. I’m feeling like that these days. The past six years have been exceptionally difficult ones. I’ll review, quite briefly: 2010: My father was dying all that year and finally fell and broke his hip, or broke his hip and fell. We gave him…… Continue reading How Many Sticks?
Tag: Changes
Earthquake
Slowly It started In the basement Of a tall building At first Just the smallest Cracks appeared In the concrete pillars Then As seconds passed The rumblings grew And the ground shifted Steel Bent like rubber Glass Shattered and fell on the street below In the top Of that building Lay a machine Once pristine…… Continue reading Earthquake
Speeding
I was approaching the checkout for the cafeteria at work, maybe five feet away when a young man easily thirty years my junior runs in to get ahead, and to add insult to injury a man more my age just walks quickly to do the same. The first thought in my mind was an …… Continue reading Speeding
Deciding to Transition
In addition to my last post, there are other reasons not to transition. Transition brings a host of psychological changes and skill challenges that really are difficult. I said the rules are different, and they are. That can chafe if you don’t have the right attitude. You talk using somewhat different vocabulary, and you’re surrounded…… Continue reading Deciding to Transition
Mornings
I thought it might be handy to compare what comprises an acceptable work outfit and what it takes to get ready for my office job as an engineer. Some people, of course, need to dress up more and some less. Note that accepta D’s typical outfit: Button down shirt, some shade of blue, probably striped…… Continue reading Mornings
Looking Back
Toward the start of my journey I spent an awful lot of time asking why. Why did I feel this compulsion, why couldn’t I just deny it, and why the hell was I so unlucky to have this issue in my life. Part of it was looking forward and asking what was going to be…… Continue reading Looking Back
Phase 3
For the first 54 years I lived as a man and honestly many of those were good years. I did a passable imitation of being a guy, at least a relatively non-aggressive guy. I might have had some odd thoughts but I did enjoy having sex and I was attracted to women. That guy had…… Continue reading Phase 3
Post op blues
All of your energy is focused over a period of years to accomplish one goal after another. Transition, adaptation and then after a longish while surgery. Now what? Well, you get to live your life the way it was supposed to be, but aside from having some new chores to maintain the new biology, you…… Continue reading Post op blues
Happy New Year
First and foremost may 2016 be a better year for us all. Life involves change and while not all change may be welcome, it will happen anyway. It remains to us whether we embrace change or fight the losing battle for stasis. For me last year was all about change, and change that remains in…… Continue reading Happy New Year
Escaping the Past
My prior incarnation, D, tended to be pretty argumentative. This was at its worse with people who were close to me. My therapist feels I was keeping them at a distance, and honestly, that might be a good explanation. I’d add that my interactions with my father growing up pushed me to defend my positions…… Continue reading Escaping the Past
My Gifted Life 