It’s been almost three years since I started HRT. It is about three years to the day when I returned from Province town and decided that I could transition. Province town had been the experiment in living full time. Starting with my return I came off the small dose of testosterone I was still on…… Continue reading Life Lessons about Transition
Tag: Mental Illness
Hell on Earth
The second of the pair At the sight of the elders The young men laugh at their stooped shoulders and their canes They ridicule their slow gate The wrinkles they have earned See only the outer skin And not the sweet person within The family visits three times a year Each time the children are…… Continue reading Hell on Earth
Reaching Out
This may be a little preachy, but so be it. I lived for years in creature comfort, surrounded by warmth and family and oblivious to much of the suffering in the world. Worse, I really didn’t understand all the forms it could take, how invidious it was, how it could erode people’s souls and how…… Continue reading Reaching Out
Pain
I’m contemplating pain today in all its myriad forms. We all understand the pain of a cut, they happen all the time, sharp but usually not lingering. The pain of a burn might linger awhile and go deep and can be truly excruciating. Then there are severe physical pains, passing kidney stones and childbirth come…… Continue reading Pain
Depression is a dirty word
Depression is a terrible word in our society, almost as bad as trying to talk about death. It happens mostly to others, unless it happens to be happening to you. In the trans community we’re fond of telling people they really can’t understand. I have news for you, that’s true for lots of divides. Men…… Continue reading Depression is a dirty word
Everything has a downside
I haven’t spent much time talking about the drawbacks of transition in my life. The process, the options, the experience, but not so much how it all turns out and the risks. Everyone faces a set of pretty universal consequences, some more likely than others: Loss of marriage, if you’re married Alienation of children if…… Continue reading Everything has a downside
Time and Tide
The tide rolls in Grey and drear Soaks the sand Between the shore and the sea The tide rolls in Washes away The joy and laughter and nights spent in friendship The time passed by The color returned The sky turned blue and joy renewed Wait patiently While time and tide Wash away the hurt…… Continue reading Time and Tide
Post op blues
All of your energy is focused over a period of years to accomplish one goal after another. Transition, adaptation and then after a longish while surgery. Now what? Well, you get to live your life the way it was supposed to be, but aside from having some new chores to maintain the new biology, you…… Continue reading Post op blues
Depression
Not a happy title, but depression is not the same as sadness. I know from trying to explain it that like the sighted person explaining the color blue to a blind friend, depression is hard to fathom if you haven’t experienced it. Nor is depression just one specific mental issue as the reasons and triggers…… Continue reading Depression
What is gender dysphoria
The underlying issue for someone who is trans is labelled as gender dysphoria these days. Before it was labelled “gender identity disorder”, but there was a fair amount of discomfort with the word “disorder” since it implies something awry. Personally I think it is reasonable to say that there is a general norm that genetics,…… Continue reading What is gender dysphoria
My Gifted Life 