For nearly a year, perhaps it was longer, I became more and more fixated on transitioning. At that point I had never dared identify as trans in public, never said a word about how I felt. I felt that if I dared to say I wanted to be a woman that the world would laugh…… Continue reading How I felt coming out
Tag: transgender
The way back
We find ourselves we know not where In a forest dark and drear And yet the distant star draws near and pulls us toward the lady fair with even locks of fine gold hair that beckon us to move quite near and smell the lavender that grows in the clearing around her The starlight shines…… Continue reading The way back
The Struggle of Loved Ones
No matter what’s going on with an individual with a problem, it isn’t only that person who’s affected. The people near and dear to them are impacted in all sorts of different ways. Routines disrupted, expectations changes, sometimes the end of a relationship or the grief that comes with the end of a life and…… Continue reading The Struggle of Loved Ones
Buying Appropriate Clothing
There’s an epidemic among many members of the trans community. Among transwomen of a certain age, there’s this pineing for that which we missed: youth, svelteness, and the things that go with that. Some of us try to recapture that with clothing that is a little (or a lot) inappropriate for our age. It’s often…… Continue reading Buying Appropriate Clothing
Forgiveness
It’s a story about me, about my journey and some friends who’ve followed and know me personally will know what this is about. But it isn’t about the person I’m forgiving, and it echos our rabbi’s sermon in some interesting ways. Along my road I decided that I needed to start understanding how I was…… Continue reading Forgiveness
Transformation
We live, we change, we transform. People make many transitions, from child to adult, school to work to retirement, single to married to widowed or divorced. I don’t know that gender makes for a particularly deep transition, perhaps just yet another difficult one to gain perspective upon. In a short while I’ll reach the practical…… Continue reading Transformation
Full Time at Last
The clock started ticking when I returned from P-town. I originally wanted to go full time in January, but that proved optimistic. Family problems weighed on us and the added stress of going full time would not have been a wise move. We stayed home for the holidays, which was terrible for both of us,…… Continue reading Full Time at Last
The Trial
After I had my initial adventure at the mall, I continued to venture out of the house on a fairly regular basis. As the months went by I started to spend first a day, then two and then sometimes the entire weekend (three days for me working a reduced schedule) as Rachel. I reached July of…… Continue reading The Trial
The Restroom
A highly charged topic. It is a standard question for every single training for someone going full time. Invariably there will be people who think the individual isn’t a woman (mtf) or a man (ftm) but some kind of predator or psycho. As if we have nothing else to do with our time at work…… Continue reading The Restroom
Outmoded Ideas
I remember being clueless about what was involved with transition, and when the media alluded to Chaz Bono making a “lifestyle choice” it made as much sense as anything. There I was, with the thoughts I had locked up inside my bony skull and I somehow could buy the notion that transitioning was some trivial…… Continue reading Outmoded Ideas
My Gifted Life 