In addition to my last post, there are other reasons not to transition. Transition brings a host of psychological changes and skill challenges that really are difficult. I said the rules are different, and they are. That can chafe if you don’t have the right attitude. You talk using somewhat different vocabulary, and you’re surrounded…… Continue reading Deciding to Transition
Tag: Transition
Everything has a downside
I haven’t spent much time talking about the drawbacks of transition in my life. The process, the options, the experience, but not so much how it all turns out and the risks. Everyone faces a set of pretty universal consequences, some more likely than others: Loss of marriage, if you’re married Alienation of children if…… Continue reading Everything has a downside
To Live is to Learn is to Grow
I first came out in April 2012, which is now coming up on four years ago, it seems like a geological age has passed between.. The changes, which thankfully are over (at least in the large), have been many. I often said why me, but after reading the classic, “True Selves” realized that I was…… Continue reading To Live is to Learn is to Grow
The true cost of SRS
People live through many good and bad times in their lives. If you are trans, signing up for some type of reassignment surgery is just one more of these. No one reading my post should think that deciding to get SRS, preparing for it or moving on afterwards is a world of rainbows and unicorns.…… Continue reading The true cost of SRS
Look not to others
When I started on my journey I would hear the term “True Self” with derision. After all, I was who I was and I might change but my core would stay the same, right? Then months went past and the persona I had as a man was clearer to me. It was clear that was…… Continue reading Look not to others
The End of Transition
The day comes at last when you realize that it has been months since you’ve needed to really think about living as you now are. The glamour has worn off, the new has become the mundane. This is not to say that life is not so much better, it most certainly is because you no…… Continue reading The End of Transition
Why a Little is at least Sometimes not enough
You start down the path beset by shame, guilt and maybe even a little anger and resentment. You’re fighting various demons and figuring out not just the gender stuff but teasing it apart from sexual orientation issues. Then the cloud starts to lift a bit. You get introduced to this vision of what life can…… Continue reading Why a Little is at least Sometimes not enough
Judge Not
I remember well the time and place. It was the fall before I went full time. I had started taking hormones and was spending more and more time in female mode, but if I’m recalling correctly I gave in to a request from my spouse to not just show up as Rachel. I would show…… Continue reading Judge Not
A Real Girl
This is one place I struggled with for years and it was a major roadblock for me. I knew what could and couldn’t be done. I just knew I couldn’t be a real girl because and then I could list some reasons. It almost made me (in my head) like a trans exclusionary radical feminist…… Continue reading A Real Girl
Fantasy meet reality
In my prior post I talked about how I spent the year before I came out obsessing over transitioning. There was really no question what my heart wanted, but things are rarely so simple. Life in middle age is complex, I had a spouse, a dependent child in college, a job where I wasn’t sure…… Continue reading Fantasy meet reality
My Gifted Life 