My Gifted Life

It was the early 90s. I was in my 30s and I’d go to Temple events. After I would sometimes want to help out so I’d go ask someone what I should do. They always looked a bit annoyed but sometimes made a suggestion. Even a polite one.

There are layers to being helpful. Asking how to help is the lowest rung. Everyone appreciates the willingness, but the expectation is that you should have your eyes and ears open. If mine were I might have seen what people were already doing and just pitched in.

Just pitching in to an existing activity is the second rung. You aren’t leading but you aren’t requiring direction. Nobody wants to give direction. Have you ever noticed this at work? You bring something up with your manager and she says “so why aren’t you just doing this?”

The last level is leading or coordinating. There’s a right way and a wrong way to do this. At the extreme the wrong way is you sitting in a chair telling people what to do. That way lay resentment and suggestions of anatomic impossibilities.

The right way is typified by this short example. After almost every even the chairs have to get rearranged. So I would just start rearranging them. Pretty soon I’d have six or seven other people helping.

The best way to lead is always by example, and suffering with those you are asking to sacrifice time and effort always goes over better. This is especially true for volunteers who are hardly required to pitch in.

Next time you have a chance, look left, right, forward and behind and decide what effort you want to help with.