Admittedly I’m revisiting this, but maybe I’m allowed to be human and have a rant now and again.
Trans folks transition because to alternative is often to remain horribly depressed, gender dysphoric and even suicidal. We have a serious medical condition and we take steps to solve that and pay a huge price for taking that step.
I personally had no trouble with male pronouns before I transitioned and did after only because I found them purposefully humiliating. For me having to remind people close to me *or* to just grin and bear it was an awful choice. I always hoped someone else would correct them. But my expectation wasn’t ridiculous. I look like a woman, I dress like a woman and I act like one too.
I look at the non-binary folks I’ve talked to and I wonder what the there is there. I got what they are saying and accept it that some days they feel more male or more female. Mind you, I never “feel” either, I just feel like me. The only reason I know I behave like a woman is because others tell me so. The same with being feminine.
But I’ve been told that with non-binary there’s no dysphoria, no requirement to transition, and really no serious discomfort. But there’s a desire to have people use awkward pronouns that, unlike trans people, can’t be deduced by looking at a non- binary person. I can’t look at a binary person and know.
What exactly is the sin in just picking their birth gender? Why are they trying to muddy the complicated waters that the trans community is trying to wade through by having a me too gender movement. I say this because when people hear about non-binary it makes absolute no sense to them; see it makes some to me, but I’m trans. They reason that it can’t be true because it’s outlandish. Now I don’t think that’s right either.
But their doubt isn’t contained to them, it affects the trans community and our very marginal existence in terms of rights – another thing non-binary folks are not dealing with. They are not being denied housing, jobs, access, etc. because being non-binary.
IT IS NOT COMPARABLE
OK, I’ve had my say. If you think I’ve been unreasonable or outrageous post comments. If you just want to throw your two bits in the till go ahead.
My Gifted Life 
Not féminin and not masculin is not possible as we all work psycho-sexualy as men or women.
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Sorry it took so long to post your comment
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I am non-binary, and coming out, asking to be seen, has reduced my lifetime of dysphoria that I have experienced as suicidality. Possibly being non-binary is an easier midpoint that might lead me to deciding to transition fully, I don’t know.
I also sometimes struggle with judgments, especially of the possible trend of young people, when I wonder if many of them even comprehend what gender really means outside of what they are spoon-fed by media. Then I wonder if it is as prolific as it seems online, my sister and I are both teachers, and there aren’t many in the populations we teach.
Yes, my pronouns are difficult if you don’t know me, and I get guesses of both he and she. That’s fine, because to me, it matters most to be referred to correctly by the people who love me and are close to me, and by the students I teach, because by being a non-binary role model, I open the subject up for discussion and normalization. Hopefully if there is a child who resonates with not being the gender they were assigned at birth, they won’t have to go through the amount of pain I have had to, because they will know there are options.
But you’re right, there are ways that it is not comparable. There are still risks I am taking, my partner of seven years is having trouble coming to terms with me speaking openly about this. But there are also ways I have privileges that fully transgender people do not, for instance, choosing who I disclose my status to, even while I’m in this halfway point.
I just found your blog, and not trying to be disrespectful, I just wanted to put my two cents in.
Thanks!
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No problem, I love your thoughtful comment
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