My Gifted Life

You’ve struggled. Coming out to friends and family, counting losses, having problems on the job. The world has changed around you. Perhaps you have a different job. Perhaps there’s a new search for new friends having lost the old ones not only due to transphobia but because those guys can’t related to a woman.

This is where most of us find ourselves after three to five years after we start the journey. We’ve extended ourselves, learned the lessons needed to live as the opposite sex. If we’re fortunate we are passable or reasonably so and can live with a minimum or no hassles.

But what now?

We can find ourselves bereft of purpose. Such a long time has been devoted to our needs and wants that when that isn’t there we find ourselves at a loss for what to do, where to find meaning.

If you’re fortunate enough to still be employed with meaningful work that can help. If you’ve somehow navigated the shoals of your transition and are still with an SO, even if it is a sexless relationship, that can provide comfort too.

One thing I’ve found helpful was to get involved with volunteer work. It let me get out to see people each week and take myself away from the pity me party.

Get involved with group activities so you can make new friends (I should follow my own advice). Don’t be shy about reaching out to people, if you don’t try you’ll never know. I had a three hour lunch the other day with a friend of mine.

Don’t forget to cherish the friends who did stick by you through all this. It was a hard road for them too.