My Gifted Life

Sometimes we pretend to have no regrets in taking the extreme steps we’ve needed to take to live and hopefully prosper. These thoughts come to me in a bit of a funk — par for the course between depression and Parkinson’s.

I think my transition has been very successful. I think little about my gender these days and being a woman doesn’t plague me with insecurity as it once did.

But it is and was a painful thing to embrace. Having to transition, having to have surgery for fear of the what would happen if I was in an accident or wanted, more likely, to be able to use even naked female spaces.

As my Parkinson’s has advanced, more meds for depression and perhaps age as well, my libido has fallen to zero, even with a T level raised to moderate female levels. I don’t think the surgery did this, I was able to orgasm post surgery.

But still I have regrets and thoughts about the course taken. I didn’t have a choice in the matter, at least and still live a reasonably peaceful life, I would have been plagued with depression and thoughts of suicide, perhaps succumbing.

If there had only been another realistic treatment that would have cured gender dysphoria.

So I live with my choices, remembering fondly when our marriage was secure, before my daughter needed to adapt, and before some friends left forever from my life.

And let me take a moment to thank and send love to those who’ve supported me along the way.