My Gifted Life

Now I’m just writing one blog entry for this, but most likely I’ll write others. Some of the non-women out there have some truly funny ideas how women’s brains work. Let me start here. If you haven’t figured it out by now, when your girlfriend or wife says it’s not a problem or just forget about it, it’s a problem and you should prepare for a jousting contest. Don’t forget your armor because she’s pissed at you.

This, like some of the rest of this diatribe is old news to the middle aged men out there. Is it still news? You must be a hermit or living under a rock. Advice from an ex-middle aged man. Just because you’ve worked your eight or more hours for your job doesn’t mean she’s been lounging by the pool. Aside from it being likely that she also has a job, running the house and dealing with kids doesn’t stop when you get home. There’s a common tacit assumption that the woman should be doing this, but the reality is that her taking on that role and leaving’ her without help is not fair.

Mr understanding will then put a bow on it by disappearing while his significant other cleans up. The first few parties I went to after transitioning were eye opening. As a guy I had hung out with the joining groups with the other men while the women cleaned up. I found this pattern to be universal. If I did want to help, I found that I was somehow clueless how to clean things up. I’d ask and was told “Just pick something and start cleaning. Men can’t do that, they need explanations. Why? Because while growing up they were excused from cleaning up while the mom and daughter hung out in the kitchen and cleaned up. At least that was true for the household I grew up in.

To be fair about it though, some jobs really are exhausting and whomever is working might need a break. None the less the partner should help if they can, and conversely should have empathy if their partneremanding has a physically demanding job.

Physical assault against women is shockingly common. One report I checked quoted a figure of 60% of women having been the victim of a physical assault. After I went full time it suddenly became important to me to have an escort if I were walking around Boston or another city after dark. When you’re female you’re typically smaller and weaker than men. Even short men can be awfully strong. In fact, short guys often make up in aggression their lack of stature.

Seriously, pay attention to how your friend is getting home after dark.

There was this post by a guy on Quora who asks how to approach a lesbian. This should, of course not be at all tricky. Lesbians are just women that have no sexual interest in a man. Specifically, they mostly don’t hate men, and it’s good to remember they have important men in their lives like fathers and brothers, sons and cousins, nephews and grandfathers.

They might even have male friends.

I end with debunking a particular male fantasy. You walk into the coatroom at the party and you see an arm sticking out of the pile of coats. You’re about to leave when you hear some giggling. The coats move and a female head pops up from pile and says “we were waiting for you to complete our threesome. The other girls head pops up and bring you down to the floor where you do every fantasy you’ve ever thought of.

In real live they might say “what’s that noise?” After a little more fumbling her whole head pops up and says “Get the hell out of here. This is a private party. You slouch away with your embarrassment melting like butter on a red-hot skillet.

And for some always good advice, follow the golden rule.